17 maio 2010

Estudos sobre a Tristeza - cap. 6: da impossibilidade

TERCEIRA PESSOA


Pedro Henrique foi uma criança que existiu apenas por alguns minutos. Sua mãe sempre brincava de projetar futuros para ela, e sempre incluía uma figura como Pedro Henrique nos seus planos. Invariavelmente, sempre ao conhecer rapazes significativos, não era propriamente Pedro Henrique que nascia, mas outros tipos de Pedro talvez.

Pedro Henrique era diferente dos outros Pedros possíveis porque seu pai, que acidentalmente passou pela vida de sua mãe, não inspirava planos. Tinha notadamente um passado efêmero, tão efêmero quanto a própria vida parece as vezes — como no fim foi a vida de Pedro Henrique, ao menos. E por essa característica, a mãe via o pai como uma figura ora frágil, ora libertadora na sua vida. E os poucos planos que fez para ele eram de curta duração, efêmeros como aquela coisa que a atraía nele.

Porém o amor entre os dois, apesar de declaradamente oposto à propagação por tempo, espaço, estatuto ou novas criaturas, era tão forte que fez com que a mãe parisse esse Pedro específico, o Henrique, ao menos por alguns minutos. Ela o concebeu, o viu e o nomeou. E era um bom nome, Pedro Henrique. E era uma criança que, apesar das instabilidades dos pais, era feliz, como toda criança potencialmente o é.

Ao receber a notícia da chegada de Pedro Henrique, o pai sorriu sutilmente, gostou do nome e do menino, de cara. Até voltou a cogitar ser feliz chamando uma criança de sua, e aceitou Pedro Henrique como filho — muito embora já soubesse que ele já tinha voltado a não existir. Mas naqueles poucos minutos em que o pai o chamou de filho, Pedro Henrique cresceu e chegou até a adolescência, e fez seu pai recordar do seu avô, que nunca chegaria a conhecer, chegando a se materializar ou não. De toda forma, Pedro Henrique criou uma identidade e passou a trocar idéias com sua mãe e seu pai. Não chegou a escolher uma carreira, mas sabia que no fundo seus pais o amariam e o apoiariam sempre.

Por amor à sua mãe, o pai tanto conviveria com a presença ou ausência de Pedro Henrique, até que o amor pelo filho se tornasse eventualmente autônomo. O pai também era dado a planos, porém menos pragmáticos, diferentes dos de sua mãe. Mas, assim como ela, também estava aprendendo a viver sem eles. Mas Pedro Henrique deve ter ficado feliz em saber que existiu por puro amor, e não por conta de um plano, ou de um acidente.

Pedro Henrique se deu conta de que havia sido criado e de que seria lembrado, como toda coisa que existe. Ainda que por mais alguns minutos, ainda que nas recaídas por planos, ainda que nas projeções de certo tipo de felicidade que, mesmo não sendo o tipo eleito por seus pais, não deixava de ser felicidade.

17 Comments:

Blogger b arrais said...

será que isso é o que eu estou imaginando?

12:21 AM  
Anonymous Anônimo said...

Entre imaginar e ser, há um imenso hiato...
Saber disso, penso eu, agora, tanto faz!
Pedro Henrique já não é...
Será mesmo que Pedro Henrique chegou um dia a ser?!
Pedro Henrique, conheci vários...
Eu mesma, gerei um.

Belo texto!

4:17 AM  
Blogger Raíza Hanna said...

Sorte a minha de encontrar teu blog. Teus textos são belíssimos, ainda mais estes contos do estudo sobre a tristeza.
Talvez não vejas tuas publicações antigas, mas fiz um comentário especial no cap.02, da menina torta.

Parabéns pelo blog!

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anônimo said...

E dá pra ser alguma coisa de diferente nessa vida... com muito esforço somos talvez, no máximo, dignos em nossa caminhada desvairada rumo ao nada.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Raíza Hanna said...

Pois então, interessante mesmo essa conscidência de temas. Pretendo com este meu conto, Ana Crônico, transforma-lo em uma animação, curta ou longa, só falta desenrolar a história em si para isso. Coisa que há muito minha inspiração deixa a desejar. haha

Obrigada por seu comentário,
abraço!

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